Uniquely Me.

I was struggling this week to come up with a topic to blog about. Several ideas came to mind throughout the week, and although I could have written something about them, I didn't really feel that any of them were quite right. It was this morning at church when my former (and first college) roommate and I decided to attend our church's Discovery class, an informational introduction to the church. (Please note use of "little c" church...I really will go further into that on here someday) Anyway, I had already taken the class about a year ago, but my roommate wanted someone to go with and I figured it would be a good idea to go again, now that I'm actually in a life group and served with the children's ministry over the summer, to get a refresher. Anyway, part of the "homework" for this class includes the self-assessment tool Your Unique Design, which brings me to the subject of this week's rambling...


Over the past few years I have taken an assortment of personality assessments for church, classes and leadership teams that have assigned me a color (I'm a blue), determined what my top five strengths are (belief, harmony, achiever, developer and responsibility), given me insight to my Unique Design (I'm an Energizer-Harmonizer), and revealed my Darksides (Codependency and Compulsiveness have the strongest influence on my leadership). Each of these provided their own little spin or way of wording what ultimately describes...me.

Almost every time I answered one of those 20-100+ question assessments, I was never really that surprised with the outcomes. If anything, it simply gave a label (or name or color or...) to what I already knew to be true about myself. I really think the most insightful assessment came from Rima and McIntosh's Overcoming the Darksides of Leadership, which I encountered/utilized in Christian Leadership and Administration with Quentin Kinnison. (If any Sunbirds ever need a class...take this one!!) It was then that I realized: yes, we all have our own strengths, talents, and gifts that make us unique and valuable parts of the Body of Christ, but we cannot be so arrogant to forget that we each have our own weaknesses too. 

I also found that my darksides, the tendencies that I lean towards in the midst of chaos and stress, were closely connected to several of my strengths. I realized that the misuse of my strengths could lead to destruction rather than construction. For example, I saw how my strengths of harmony, achiever and responsibility explained my sense of drive and obligation to do all that is asked of me and to do it to the absolute best of my ability, all of that being motivated by a need to please and keep peace. These tendencies can lead to self-destructive behavior when I focus more on keeping others happy, codependency, and the pressure to perform flawlessly, compulsiveness. Kind of an unsettling thought, but I remember leaving the class with the assurance that ultimately my identity is found in Christ alone.

In tying all of this back to the running theme of what it means and how to live missionally, I guess I just want to celebrate the diversity of the Church and share how I've been challenged to grow with everyone. As I said at the beginning of the post, I'm just now joining a life group (which is by no means the only way to connect and fellowship with others), so I'm learning too. These posts are never meant to be judgmental, just an honest sharing of what I've been learning and an invitation to join with me.

Let's build one another up and keep one another accountable!