when children pray.

On Wednesdays, I hang out with Kindergartners. We sing, we pray, we play, we learn about Jesus--we do life together. It's a highlight of my week, every week.


At the beginning of the month I got a brand new group of kids to hang out with, the ones who will be going into Kindergarten in the fall. On the night of the "up-grade" one of the moms asked for my name, so they could pray for me during the week. I thought it was sweet, introduced myself and thanked her. Weeks passed and I kind of forgot about it.

Until tonight. The same mom came to pick up her daughter and this is the conversation we had:

Parent: "It's Katy, right?"
Me: "Yep, that's me"
Parent: "Ohhh, we hear all about Miss Katy at home!"
Me: "All good things, I hope!"
Parent: "Of course! A* tells me all about how she gets to sit next to Miss Katy during worship. Also that Miss Katy wears a ring, but doesn't have a husband."
*Laughter*
Parent: "So, thank you."
Me: "Umm, uhh..."
Parent: "We got to talk about purity and loving and serving God."

What an amazing story! I am really just relaying it...all I did was wear a ring and answer, to the great dismay of the eight girls that were there that night of the up-grade, that I wasn't married and didn't have kids. The parents of this precious child should be getting the praise here. For engaging in conversation and encouraging prayer with their daughter, even though she is "only" four years old. Look what great fruit is being reaped! Can you imagine what amazing conversations they could be having once she's fourteen? 

It all starts here. Kids.

That Jesus knew what He was talking about.

So talk to kids. Pray with kids. 

p.s. I've been inspired to re-read this book that I read while I was a children's ministry intern oh so long ago. It's a good one.

*name changed

adopted.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, just as He chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before Him in love. He destined us for adoption as His children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace that he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace that He lavished on us. With all wisdom and insight he has made known to us the mystery of His will, according to his good pleasure that He set forth in Christ, as a plan for the fullness of time, to gather up all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth. In Christ we have also obtained an inheritance,having been destined according to the purpose of Him who accomplishes all things according to his counsel and will, so that we, who were the first to set our hope on Christ, might live for the praise of his glory. In Him you also, when you had heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and had believed in him, were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit; this is the pledge of our inheritance towards redemption as God’s own people, to the praise of His glory.

--Ephesians 1:3-14, NRSV (emphasis added)

Ohhh LORD, You're doing something in me. 

There's a big long story that goes along with all that has the wheels in my mind turning, but I think there's just this one part that I need to share here. The rest is best saved for a solid conversation over a good cup of tea.

Being adopted, I feel I have been blessed with a fairly unique experience and understanding of being called a Child of God. When I was adopted twenty-three years ago, I became a part of this family called the Hetheringtons. I became a Hetherington. 

I am my parents' daughter. I am my brothers' sister. 

Where I came from doesn't define me. I am loved as a part of my family.

How much more so is this true with Christ? 

I have sinned, epically. I have failed, constantly. 

But that is not what defines me, I am a daughter of The King.

Did you get that , Katy? A DAUGHTER of the KING.

All He has is mine. 

And yet, I am stuck living as if I am nothing, no one. 

Lacking in knowledge, skill, faith, ability.

As if He isn't sufficient, that He isn't enough. 

But I'm taking a stand against the lies. 

The lie that I am not good enough but somehow have the ability to make myself better.

The lie that I have no purpose, no use for The Kingdom. 

The lie that my identity is found in anything or anyone but Christ alone.

And claiming the truth. 

That I am no longer defined by my past, my sin, but am made NEW in Christ. 

That I am a child of the King, I am loved as part of His family--the Church.

I am His. He is All.

surrender.

Ever had one of those days when the strings of conviction are tugging so intently on your heart you have no choice but dropping everything and saying,

"Yes, God."

Today was that day for me.

It started this morning.
Christian was going through the promise of Jesus, explaining that He was God's intention from the beginning. God didn't choose to send Jesus after His other "attempts" to cultivate a relationship with us were "thwarted". Jesus was not the back up plan. God doesn't have those. His plans are the ones that prevail. Christian challenged us to examine ourselves, to take an honest look at what plans we are pursing--Plans B, C, D or Plan A?

As I drove home, I heard God whispering,
"Which plan are you seeking? Whose is it?"


tug, tug. 

Then tonight, I went to hear my dear friend Alyssa share about selfless service. She talked about how sometimes the best way to serve selflessly is to take a step back rather than insisting to meet every need we see. That we don't pick and choose who and when to serve, but gladly serve whoever, whenever and wherever. And that even when it doesn't make sense, we must surrender our plans to Him.

As I listened to Lys speak of how God is moving and working in her life as she surrenders her life to Him, I heard that familiar whisper again,
"Do you trust me?"


Tug, Tug.

On the car ride home, I heard TobyMac's song Me Without You. It's pretty catchy, despite being quite far from the type of music I typically listen to, but the lyrics really pulled on my heart, the final pull that brought down the wall I've built around my plans, my heart.

I'd be packing my bags when I need to stay - because I'd really like to move to Portugal NOW.
I'd be chasing every breeze that blows my way -because I'm so eager to find a way to get there.
I'd be building my kingdom just to watch it fade away - and I wonder why all my plans fail.


TUG, TUG.

I think God's leading me to read through the book of Jonah this month. I feel a bit like Jonah. God's given me a a gift, the heart for a country, but I'm insisting on using it on my own terms. I don't want to have to get swallowed by a fish to figure out that God's plan is going to prevail no matter what tricks I think I have up my sleeve.


I'm realizing that although it was most definitely God who has given me the gift of loving the people of Portugal, everything I've been doing--or trying to do--has been of my own ambition. I have created nice, neat one, two and five-year plans. I claim to be willing to be okay with "however God moves" but in my heart and mind, I've already decided the basic framework of  how and when I will serve while only saving the "nitty gritties" for God.

So today, God clearly said, No.
I don't know if this means I will never go to Portugal and live as I imagine and long to but rather learn how to better serve and love them from here. Just typing that out has me struggling to see my screen through the tears.

It's terrifying.

If I'm not leaving for Portugal in the next few years, then what am I doing!?
Why am I working at a job that has nothing to do with my major if not to pay off my loans and leave?
And WHAT do I do with the daily ache to live and serve and be in Portugal?

I. Don't. Know.

But if I'm honest, I do know that all of those questions can be summed up with one confession.

God, I'm terrified of what You will say when I lay down my plans and ideas and say yes to You.


But following God is not about the easiest, safest choice. It's about saying YES to Him.

So here's to a month of reading, listening and surrendering to the One whose plans never fail.