on the willows.

By the rivers of Babylon—
   there we sat down and there we wept
   when we remembered Zion.
On the willows there
   we hung up our harps.
For there our captors
   asked us for songs,
and our tormentors asked for mirth, saying,
   ‘Sing us one of the songs of Zion!’ 

How could we sing the Lord’s song
   in a foreign land? 

--Psalm 137:1-4

So FPU Theater's Spring Mainstage this year is Godspell and I highly recommend going to see it if you are in Fresno and haven't yet.  The cast (which includes two of my close friends) is crazy talented and it's really a fun/exciting/emotional/thought-provoking show. Seriously go.
Okay, I'm done plugging.

Sort of.

I went on opening and again this afternoon with my momma. Both performances were excellent and both times I was in tears at one of the final scenes and songs, "On The Willows."(Note: The link is the Broadway cast. You really need to hear the FPU cast sing it. Do it.)

SPOILER ALERT. (you've been warned)

In the scene, Jesus is saying goodbye to each of the disciples before he is betrayed by Judas and crucified. Each disciple has their own unique relationship with Jesus and that is reflected in their goodbyes. I think it's seeing the personal, intimate interactions that brings the tears for me. 

I also know that the lyrics of the song really laid heavy on my heart during and after the show. Nerd me knows that they are from Psalm 137 (thanks BLIT 321). The psalmist wrote these verses in reference to the Jews' time of being held captive, a time when they were abused and insulted, far from the Temple and  everything they knew.  I don't want to suggest that I have experienced anything so intense. But I hope it's not offensive to suggest that in a very small way I can imagine the hopelessness, the disheartenment, the pain that comes when we lose sight of God in our situation. How could we possibly sing the songs that we sing out of the overflow of joyful worship from our hearts when we're in a place, literally or figuratively, that is so cruel and foreign?

Sometimes it seems impossible to praise God in the midst of our situation, when we really feel how far away we are from Him here in this broken and foreign world. But we were never promised it would be an easy, or even enjoyable journey with Christ. In fact, if we're really living the way we're called to, it's quite costly. We're called to  deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. I am pretty sure following Him is not limited to the glamorous, exciting, and safe places.

Scary? Try, terrifying.
Difficult? Extremely.
Necessary? Absolutely.

Like Paul says, "Not thatI have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own."  (Philippians 3:12). But as important as it is to remember this is what we're called to do, we should also remember:

we're in this together.