less.

When I sat down to write tonight, I had lots of things  I thought I wanted to write about.
But every time I'd write out a paragraph or so, I'd end up "⌘ + A" and "delete" to start over. 

So, seven attempts and and ninety minutes later, I am here.
Empty page and bedtime closing in.

Maybe it's for the best. Maybe tonight, less is best.

I woke up with one thought today. It's what P.J. spoke about this morning at the eleven.  And what we sang about before leaving. It's what we remember, and never forget, today. 

the greatest day in history.

Death is beaten. We are free. Jesus is alive.

Did we get that? 
Jesus is alive!

What a glorious truth! Yet I found myself dwelling on other things today. 

friendslonelinessfutureheartachefamilynostalgiajealousytripsmusicpastrestlessness


STOP.




I know I've talked about listening for God's still, small voice. It seems I haven't quite gotten the hang of putting it into practice. There's so much more that could be said. But I really feel like not much more needs to be said. So this is where I end.

greatest day in history
death is beaten, You have rescued me
sing it out, Jesus is alive


the empty cross, the empty grave
life eternal, You have won the day
shout it out, Jesus is alive
He's alive


oh, happy day, happy day
You washed my sin  away
oh, happy day, happy day
i'll never be the same
forever i am changed

maybe it's okay.

I LOVE this weather.
If you remember, a few weeks back I talked about the significance of rain in my life. So, yes it's been chilly, yes it's not fun to drive in, but man, I love this weather.

Something I did this weekend, besides enjoy the rain with a few good books and cups of lavender cream earl grey, was clean. My room had become a disaster in the past couple of weeks with piles of dirty clothes, (neater) piles of clothes to be put away, shoes that had been quickly and careless abandoned after a long day at work, books from the library, cards from friends, buttons and thread. The little things of daily life that don't seem to warrant much time or thought until they all pile up into one giant mess.

So, after about a week and a half of creatively finding a path from my door to my bed, I set out to actually get things in some sort of order.

By set out, I mean I tried. By tried I mean I started. 

I mentioned last week that I get distracted easily and I know that played a part, for sure. But when I felt the need to re-read the card that my friend had sent me two weeks ago or look through the photos scattered on my endtable, something else came to mind that I remembered from my time meeting with an MFT at Link Care.
When I shared that it sometimes can take me a few hours to tidy up a room that my mom always insisted should only take an hour at most because I stopped to look through things, or was reminded of a late night run in the rain as I folded a mud-stained t-shirt, he said three words that challenged me to re-think how I view myself.

"Maybe that's okay."

So deep and profound, I know. But really, as much as I love my momma and know that she simply wants to see that my room isn't a pigsty, maybe it's okay that it takes me longer to get my room in some sort of order. Maybe it's okay that I clean my room in a different way other people do.

Maybe it's okay that I prefer rain over a sunny day with a high of 75.
Maybe it's okay that I am not called to work with high schoolers.

Maybe it's okay that I don't like the phrase "do missions".

Maybe it's okay that I'm not sure how I'm going to get back home to Portugal. (yet)

This is a bit of a scattered post. I guess the three things I wanted to communicate:

1. The rain always inspires me. To think. To rest. To be drenched in His love.

2. The best way, I've found, to tackle a big mess (literally and figuratively) is one piece at a time. (p.s. this might will take a while...which leads me to the last point...)

3. Maybe it's okay.

Maybe I'm just totally off my rocker. I guess the only way we'll find out is by asking...

Let's come back next week and compare notes? :)

distracted.

I started this post about two and a half hours ago. (it's currently 10:27 PM)
I knew I wanted to write something about distractions and tangents and details.
And then I got distracted. 

text message.facebook notifcation.dinner.text message.tweet.dessert.look up song lyric stuck in head.clean up dishes.lingo.read an article.close the garage.

you get the picture. 

Now it's getting late and I'm still exhausted from this weekend, but I'm determined to write something each Sunday. So, here's what I've got:

I was listening to Jason Mraz's Details in the Fabric and thinking about how easy it is for me to get caught up in the details of life. Let me rephrase that, it's so easy for me to worry about the details of life.  I have found that the details shouldn't be overlooked, but that doesn't mean I can/should obsess over them. I'm learning (and by learning, I mean I'm definitely still in the process of learning) the best way to handle the details is one. at. a. time. Otherwise, I find I'm quickly overwhelmed and don't feel like I want anything to do with any of them. 

all the details in the fabric are the things that make you panic

I am learning that when I slow down, I can hear that still small voice amidst the chaos and sort through the details.

So why should I worry, why should I freak out? God knows what I need.

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. -Philippians 4:6-8

His Love is Strong.